Penis Envy: or, I've Been Gypped

I used to plan on coming back as Cate Blanchett in my next life, but lately I have begun to think that instead, I will come back as a man.

Why would I? Statistically, women live longer, are smarter, don't lose their hair, are better communicators, better nurturers, and of course that bit about them being able to bring forth human life. And, a fact that most of the male population reading this can appreciate, the female body is beautiful, complete with breasts and soft curves.

So why would I come back as a man in my next life? It's not just that I've always secretly envied the ability to pee one's name in the snow, but the crux of the matter is this:

If I were a man, I would have a chance of playing the best roles ever written for actors: Shakespeare's Henry V, Hamlet, and Lear, not to mention Richard III, Iago, and Macbeth. I'm not saying Shakespeare didn't write wonderful characters for women as well, he did. I also know that in this world there exist all-female Shakespeare companies, and directors who aren't terrified of cross-casting.

But I don't WANT to be crosscast. I want to be Henry V, Hamlet, and Lear.

I'VE BEEN ROBBED!!!

*end of rant*