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Scholar, Writer, Mother, Dreamer. Editor of Luminarium, an online library for English Literature of the Middle Ages and Renaissance.

Saturday, April 07, 2007

What Dreams May Come

Lately I've come across a lot of people who, either periodically, or constantly, experience vivid movie-like dreams; dreams from which they sometimes wake up exhausted, as if they had been up all night watching movies, instead of sleeping.

In my dream, I had just moved to Hollywood (not Los Angeles in general, Hollywood itself with its 1930s bungalows) with my 5 year-old daughter (!) I didn't know anyone yet, but my daughter had been invited to a birthday party, and I was driving our little car in search of the right house. Fortunately, I was being guided by the ghost (or more like a spirit, not frightening) of a young woman. She lived in our house I think, á la The Ghost and Mrs. Muir.

I dropped my daughter off and mingled for a few minutes with other mothers who were having cosmos in cocktail dresses upstairs (and eyeing me curiously, since I had spent little time on my own appearance, getting my daughter ready for the party). My hair, a sandy dark blonde (my own boring color), was a bit greasy and I was wearing a white t-shirt and black pants, and no doubt, to them I looked more like a waitress than a Hollywood "yummy mommy."

I remember one of the women was smoking one of those long slim "woman's cigarettes" in an ultra-light (curious, since Angelenos are notorious smoke haters). They had the TV on, showing a beauty pageant, but this was a beauty pageant for men. I was shaken, when I saw my (ex-?) boyfriend, a model, walk down the runway in a relaxed casual shirt and jeans, one hand brushing his blond locks behind an ear. He came in second, but I didn't stay to watch him get "crowned" or whatever they do in male model pageants. I made something up about running errands and coming back to pick her up in a few hours, and got in my car.

My new spirit-friend steered me towards the beach (Pacific Palisades I think), where a small crowd of policemen was gathering, along with some curious onlookers. In the distance, I could see were two cinnamon-colored Model-T Fords (!). I parked my car hastily and got out to see better. I was on top of a small bluff. I was approaching the crowd, when suddenly I lost my footing a bit, and as I looked down, a small scream escaped me. To the right of my foot was a pit filled with sand or gravel, out of which a man's feet were sticking up towards the sky. He was wearing once-shiny black Italian mafia shoes, a bit pointy. I was feeling very queasy, when one of the policemen came to herd me and a woman reporter away from the scene. My spirit friend smiled an enigmatic, but relieved sigh, and walked away into the distance.


I woke up.

And this was just one of the dreams I had last night. Anyone have a clue what this dream "means" in the language of dreams? I sure don't.

Sometimes I go through a time when I have so much REM for so many nights that I myself feel like a walking ghost at daytime. I've often said to my Dad, whose in the medical field, that one day they will actually diagnose it and call it Excessive REM Syndrome (ERS). No deep sleep, just movie after movie after movie; and more exhausting than a night of movie watching, since you're an active participant. Imagine having a movie like James Bond, except you're the agent who has to fight the bad guys... pretty tiring.

Anyone else ever experience anything like this?
 

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6 Comments:

Blogger Jarod said...

Groovy dream. Two things stand out to me - symbolism of the 1930's, and being judged on your appearence. The woman guide is your subconscious, showing you different things.
Let me ask you, have you had a desire to quit anything recently, and has there been a situation where you are judging yourself?

April 07, 2007 2:13 PM  
Blogger Anniina said...

Ooh I like that, especially "the woman guide is my subconscious."

I've pretty much a permanent insecurity complex, esp. about my appearance, but no recent situations jump out at me. I haven't thought about quitting anything lately, but I do want to put my house on the market in a few months, and I also have thought about getting the heck out of Pennsylvania.

So maybe my subconscious is telling me I want to move out to a bungalow in Hollywood, and the murdered mobster represents a fear of not hacking it out in LA.

The 5 yr-old daughter is curious, though. I haven't had a child in my dreams for a long time—last time was a few years ago, and then the daughter was an 8 yr-old. Maybe that's my biological clock ticking, or some "be good to your inner child" thing.

Dreams are fascinating. Wish I knew more about decoding them. Thanks for the great start, Jarod!!

April 07, 2007 4:21 PM  
Blogger SzélsőFa said...

I have just seen this.
Will return later when I have more time.
I love analysing dreams.

April 10, 2007 1:59 PM  
Blogger SzélsőFa said...

I have just read that Jarod and you, Anniina have so well summarized the meaning.
I agree with the kid being a) your inner child whom you so carefully look after - rather than your outer image, showing that despite your being consciuos about your hair& looks, you care much more about the inner potential and well-being of yourself OR b)the projection of your wanting/needing an actual kid...
I also see that

April 10, 2007 4:03 PM  
Blogger SzélsőFa said...

-contd-
you do care much about the way ppl see you for you mght want to fit into the 'club'/a society, you want to be accepted (which of us doesn't?)
That the Hollywood women are smoking cigarettes and the extremity of color and type of cars and also of their location might indicate that you have a very compley and curious mind. (of which, any of your readers get easily convinced).
The scene with the onlookers might refer to that you yourself get a lot of attention - but somehow you're not very easy with that. I might be wrong with that.
As I might be wrong with any of my guesses.
The beauty contest shown on tv might indicate that you feel that your significant other deserves tonnes of admiration and attention, but you are not comfortable with that, either. You do not want ppl to see your partner being attached to you. You want him as a partner and you wish to hide it from your socialized life.
I might be totally wrong with those lines...
My mind have just given me these ideas. No hurt intended, really. I just played with the ideas that struck my mind while reading your lines 'bout your dreams...

April 10, 2007 4:10 PM  
Blogger Anniina said...

Oooh, really cool analyses, SF!

I was intrigued by "you yourself get a lot of attention - but somehow you're not very easy with that." This might be right, although I hadn't ever thought about it quite like that. What is true, is that I have done very little in the way of acting; my last show closed 10 months ago, and I've only gone on one audition since. Maybe my lack of desire to be on stage has been partly to nurture my inner child and not be "out there for the world to view."

As for hiding my attention-worthy partner from the eyes of the world, that is also fascinating. Makes me think of a Shakespeare sonnet. Must post it; it may be a repeat, but a good rerun is always fun.

Now that it's apparent there's brilliant dream interpreters around, I'll be sure to post future dreams. This has been both fun and illuminating!

Thanks guys, I adore you.

~A

April 10, 2007 9:14 PM  

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