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Scholar, Writer, Mother, Dreamer. Editor of Luminarium, an online library for English Literature of the Middle Ages and Renaissance.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Things I Will Not Do When I Direct Shakespeare....

Mark A.'s HyperLiterature always has delish links worth visiting — case in point, Angevin2's Livejournal entry:

The Things I Will Not Do When I Direct
A Shakespeare Production, on Stage or Film

This list, at present 426 items, is still growing.  Hmm, I can think of a few I could contribute....

A few of the choice entries on this list:

 9. I will not assume I know the play better than Shakespeare did, despite apparent evidence to the contrary.

20. I will not costume anyone such that the first thought raised in the minds of the audience is "merry elf," unless he is playing one of the fairies in A Midsummer Night's Dream."

27. If I am running an annual Shakespeare festival, I will acknowledge that there are plays beyond A Midsummer Night's Dream and Twelfth Night.

30. As much as I enjoy his films, I will not steal from Kenneth Branagh. It's not like people won't notice.

36. Keanu Reeves will not be allowed near the production.

63. Sir Andrew Aguecheek shall never be a young, lean, attractive man whom no one in the audience can understand why Olivia turned away.

151. Having Shylock pour blood on a prayer shawl and ululate in Hebrew while waving a curved knife during the trial is just overkill.

173. I will not let Leonardo DiCaprio near the production.

219. I will not decide that Helen of Troy in Troilus and Cressida is actually a sports car, nor will Pandarus do lines of cocaine off of her. (I will especially not do this if I can't afford a real sports car and have to make do with a small toy Ferrari, set on a table).

347. I will not decide that the best way to portray "Exit, pursued by a bear" is to have the rest of the cast dressed in brown and do some sort of modern-dance amoeba thing to absorb the character.
 


But, go read the list for yourself, it's well worth it.
 

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